We Are The Examples
In our culture, the push to do more, achieve more, and accomplish more is primarily driven by fear. We rarely feel as though we have enough. The system is set up for competition, and to lose is to potentially lose everything.
Many of us have grown up watching friends and relatives struggle, and vow to do everything we can to avoid the same fate. So too many of us find ourselves trapped in an endless cycle of grinding it out for mere survival. Others continue to push long after we have enough.
In either case, the need for rest often goes overlooked, either through external or internal pressure to “push through it.” Vacations are shortened or mired in work emails and days off are skipped or filled with new projects. When we are forced, or reluctantly allow ourselves, to disconnect, we notice feelings of shame and characterize it as laziness.
Ironically, this relentless pressure to do more without rest turns out to be the surest path to burnout, relationship problems, and feelings of isolation from others.
Each of us trapped in this cycle becomes another example to others of how it really is or has to be.
Then, the cycle continues.
New Examples
Nearly all of the workaholics I know are willing to acknowledge this unhealthy dimension, yet none have any idea how to change it. Each has their identity so tightly woven to this way of being that to unbind themselves long enough to rest and connect seems like an affront to who they are.
In the best of cases, they genuinely enjoy their work. In other cases, they just feel trapped.
If we’re to Become Superhuman, we would do well to build a life we don’t need days off from. This is not the same thing as a life that does not include rest or leisure. It’s a life that incorporates all we need so that the rest is its own reward, and always part of the same pursuit.
For me, that looks like:
- Believing in kindness to such a degree that I never need a day off to just be an asshole
- Standing against injustice to such a degree that I never consider condoning it or giving it a pass
- Treating rest, relaxation, and leisure as methods of healing myself and a critical part of my service of helping others, rather than an antithesis to it
These are the kinds of behaviors I want people in my life to see as an example.
These are the cycles I want to perpetuate.
We Live Our Values
What we do is a reflection of our values — especially that which we do consistently.
Our values might be set by fear, by love, or a little bit of each.
Our values might be something we consciously decided or programs running on autopilot.
Much of the time, our values and identities are shaped by the example set by others, many of whom never stopped to consider the example they were setting. Our workaholic parents probably wanted the best for us, and maybe that included a future where we didn’t treat rest like a luxury.
Today, I want to encourage you to think about those around you, because each of us is an example to others — including you.
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