Your mind is racing.
Should you be breathing this rapidly?
Is it physically possible for your heart to beat right out of your chest?
You remember that the starting gun hasn’t gone off yet. But, that doesn’t matter, because the inevitable is rapidly approaching. You see it clearly.
You are standing at the edge. The only way forward is to jump.
How in the world will you pull this off?
The Longest Cab Ride
Even though it had only been 11 months since I’d accepted the offer, I felt like I should’ve had more stuff in the box on my lap. I was riding home after being “let go” from my job as a Director at a PR Firm in Philadelphia.
I didn’t know what would come next or how I would explain to my partner that I’d lost my job. I was terrified.
What came next was the most rewarding 7 years of my career, up to that point. I’d started a company, failed more times than I could count, and notched a handful of accomplishments I still use as case studies to this day. I loved every minute of that chaos. I learned, I grew, and I owned my choices.
Sitting in that cab, I couldn’t have predicted what came next. All I could do was stare at the canyon in front of me and wonder, what should I do next?
Forever Interrupted
Both my first marriage and my business marriage — when my agency was acquired — were short-lived partnerships. In both cases, I was blind-sided, hurt, and forced to start over.
My divorce was finalized in 2014.
I’ll never forget those first days waking up in that new apartment — a home that didn’t quite feel like home.
My severance agreement was finalized in 2019.
I’ll never forget waking up in my home with no company to run nor job to go to, for the first time in a decade.
I spent so much time wondering…
- Who am I?
- What am I to do next?
- Is there no script I should follow?
- Where is that trusty internal compass? The one I’d grown so comfortable listening to.
In both cases, I found myself sitting there, staring out at the canyon, wondering what my next step should be? If my next step is forward, am I ready to fall and catch myself on the way down?
Two Truths and a Lie
Whether you are leaving your job to launch your own company, starting a new relationship, or awaiting the starting pistol for the 100m sprint you’ve spent your whole life training for, uncertainty is all there is.
The truth is that you have no idea what comes next. However, it’s not what comes next but where all those steps ultimately lead, that scares you most. You fear the wasted, failed, or fruitless efforts. You fear choosing the wrong path, so you stand at the edge.
The truth is that your preparation and efforts are within your control, even if the results are not.
But, don’t be fooled. No matter how much you prepare and push yourself, you can only ever improve your odds but never eliminate the uncertainty or guarantee results. Wild, crazy, unpredictable events happen, all of the time.
Which brings us to the lie we tell ourselves when we’re standing at the edge. The lie we tell ourselves, is that we’ll know when we are ready.
If you don’t feel like moving forward, it must be a sign that you’re not ready, right? What if I told you that how you feel has less to do with your likelihood of success and your actual readiness, than it does your own internal narrative about self-worth.
To put it plainly, there is no connection between confidence and competence. Some people jump right in when they’re clearly ill-prepared, and others spend a lifetime second-guessing themselves despite their deep expertise.
Two Choices
The bottom line is this, you have no idea what will come next.
So, as you stand at the edge, know this…
All you can do is make the decision to move forward or not. Your feelings about the decision will only be proven right or wrong in hindsight. The odds are roughly the same either way because you have no idea what will come next or how you will adapt, pivot, or transform in the process.
It is no more brave or bold than it is foolish to choose one over the other. It’s just a decision you make.
The only thing I can share from my experience is this:
- Once I have committed to a direction, I simultaneously commit to working on myself.
- Whatever knowledge and skills I need for the direction ahead, become my new study guide.
- I embrace the uncertainty by focusing on the process, instead of the outcome.
- I look for the pace of growth that I can sustain so that I can grow, without burning myself out.
- I attempt to have as much fun doing it as I can.
In my experience, when I follow this path, I’ll know that no matter the outcome, that I owned my choices and I gave it my all. I can live with that and build the courage to stare at that edge, and jump once more.
