You are one of a kind.
Just like everyone else.
You will encounter people who are different in the same ways you are. They might share some facets of your identity, or a selection of your experiences, fears, hopes, and ambitions.
That means you are also one of many.
Sometimes, when our differences in a group are too evident, we may feel alone.
We may worry that no one understands us and we are not safe.
Other times, when we see our differences in others, we cease to feel so alone.
We recognize that someone, at least one other person, understands us. We feel more comfortable moving forward.
Within this paradigm, there is a structural problem…
The problem is that a small subsection of people have been conditioned to believe that they are the default and hence it is not they who are different from others, but that everyone else differing from them.
At the same time, everyone else has been conditioned to feel different from the default.
This creates categories of right and wrong, good and bad, me and you.
And yet, the truth is clear, we’re all different in many ways and similar in many ways. No amount of statistical analysis could make any of these differences any more right or wrong.
This shapes our places of work.
What do we value?
When we make every person who deviates from the dominant culture seek formal accommodations, we are making an explicit judgment about normal and abnormal which quickly becomes right and wrong.
This can only the best strategy if what we value is superiority and control rather than effectiveness and belonging.
If our goals are, in fact, to be more creative, innovative, and productive, we would surely take an alternative route.
Simple Solutions to Significant Problems
In the majority of cases, there is a little to be gained by making someone request permission to be who they are, but there is a lot to be lost.
Should we decide to take the path toward productivity, creativity, innovation and belonging, the answer is simple.
- Do not make people wrong for the ways in which they are different.
- Ask people what they need to thrive.
- Remove the obstacles standing in their way.
Simply put, stop trying to control people, and stop judging them.
Instead, be curious enough to learn about their differences and then celebrate it. Be excited about what they might do if the barriers and unfair expectations were removed.
Relinquish your desire to control them knowing that they will be happier, more engaged, and more effective when you give them the freedom to do things their way.
In pursuit of a better future
The fact that we’re all different, means that we are not alone. Our differences are the inner thingy that unites all of us into a tapestry of strengths, weaknesses, opinions, behaviors, experiences, and so much more.
We rob ourselves, each other, and our collective future of so much when we try to fit the richness of human experience into a handful of boxes deemed acceptable.
I hope you enjoyed this post!
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